One Step At A Time 27

Dear Diary, 

I spent my days writing a bucket list... I took that list everywhere I went, just in case I got a new idea. 

BUCKET LIST 

1. Let go of a floating lantern.

2. crowd surf 

3. Build a mosque

4. Have all my family and friends together in my graduation, including my dad 

5. Die with no regrets 


I took it to my chemotherapy session, that put my mind away from the poison they injected in me... I spent a lot of time thinking about the days I had left, I knew it wasn't much, but it was enough for me to make a difference. The session was over before I knew it, and I found Sager waiting for me outside, with a smile so energetic, so full of life, it made my heart stop 


Sager: Hala hala 

Me: Heeyyyyy 

Sager: Shlounch yal khabla, feeling better?

Me: ye3ni laish tes2al etha t3aref el su2al? Im gonna feel like crap from the next couple of days 

Sager: thats why I went and got you your favorite chocolate and snacks, and movies 

Me: shdarak shnu a7eb?! 

Sager: I asked Noura 

Me: I love you

Sager: I love you too Farah, now ta3alay let me help you in the car, you seem tired 


Me: okayy 


Sager reached out for my hand, completely unaware that I had my bucket list held eb the same hand that I gave to him, he held the paper real quick 


Me: Give it back Sager! 


Sager: Shnu hatha? 


Me: Just give it baaacckk 


Sager:'a bucket list' ? why? 


Me: Cause Im dying! Im dying Sager! I wanna do the things I always wanted to do

Sager: LATGOULEEN CHTHY!! CHAM MARA AGOULCH YOUR NOT GOING TO DIE. YOUR A STRONG PERSON AND YOUR GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS


I just stayed quiet... staring into his eyes. he looked scared, like a lost puppy.


Sager: *sigh* you really wanna do this don't you? 

Me: Yes

Sager: Mhm... elyoum fathya? 

Me: eeh laish? 

Sager: ba6al3ech

Me: bss bakoun ta3bana 

Sager: latkhafeen, mara7 net7arak, bss bawadeech mukan blsayara. I wanna show you something 

Me: okay, bss elsa3a cham akoun jahza?

Sager: throury throury tkouneen khal9a gabel el maghreb 

Me: khala9 okay, bss let me go home anam shway, take a shower wabadel 

Sager: enzain, now lets take you home beautiful 

Me: look who's talking 




It was time for us to go out, the car ride was a long one, I can assure you that. We spent it listening to music, and dancing. 


Me: wain btwadeeny?

Sager: I go to this place every time I want to be alone. I used to go there with my grandpa every week. It's so remote, and quiet. you won't find a single soul there.

Me:  do you take all your girlfriends here to impress them?

Sager: actually, I took one person here, the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Which is you. 


I just stayed quiet, blushing


Sager: Now close your eyes for me will you?


Me: okay 


He placed his hands over my eyes, seeing that he "can't trust me" lol. 


Sager: deer balech...  careful Farah


Me: Where are we?


Sager: Entay mafeech 9aber? Ne6ray 


Me: Enzain enzain 


Sager: Okay open your eyes 


We were somewhere in the desert, on top of a small hill... huge rocks surrounding us making it seem like we were centered in between all of this. I looked straight up and the sunset looked beautiful. A rush of colors collided on top of each other making it seem like a piece of heaven

Me: This is... beautiful 


Sager: *whispering* Nothing compared to your beauty 


He turned me around so he can face me. 


Sager: I have one more thing. Just give me a second ayeeba mn el sayara. 


He went back to the car and came back a few minutes later with a marker and a bag. 6ala3 something mn the bag


Me: What's that?


Sager: A lantern, the first thing in your bucket list. I wanna fulfill all of them for you. 


Me: Sager you shouldn't have, laish ta3abt 3umrek 


Sager: I wanted to, now what do you wanna write 3al lantern so we can light it up


Me: hmmm... How about " One Step At A Time" 


Sager: Perfect


he looked so beautiful under the reflection of all the colors. I could see his biceps slowly clenching as he wrote the words ever so carefully on the lantern.


Sager: Yallah, we light it al7een?


Me: Yes


Both of us held it, facing each other with the lantern keep us apart, we waited till it could float on it's own and we let it go, both of us, watching it silently as we watched it float away. He leaned closer to me, and kissed me on my forehead. We stayed like this in each others arm, sitting on a rock for an hour or so. I kept thinking, and all I could conclude is, he's the one.