One Step At A Time 1

You guys ga3d agoulekum min al7een. There are inappropriate scenes. And It's not a true story. Enjoy xx

Dear Diary

I looked out the window, thinking about my life, and what I've done. I tried to look for a loophole, anything that might indicate of me doing something useful. Nothing. Nothing,
but regrets. I had 2 sisters. My parents are divorced, I havnt seen my father except on Eid events, which is like 2 times a year. I had 0 contact with him. He never acted like a father to me, he never asked about me. He never made me feel like I was daddy’s little girl so why would I act like a daughter to him? Anyone who asked about mt dad, I would just answer with a simple question. “For all I know, he could be dead by now” My 2 elder sister’s were in there own world. A world of drinking, guys, apartments, parties… Anything to escape the reality they lived in, anything to ignore my mom’s pleading for them to stop all the sins that they’re doing.

 

Mom: Wain 6al3a?

Me: What’s it to you? Ba6la3. You never asked me where Im going or coming, why ask now?

Mom: *sigh* cause Im your mother

Me: Haha, that’s a new one. Being a mom doesn’t only involve you supporting us financially.

Mom: Mat3almeeny shloun akoun Um fahma!!! E7tarmay nafsech!

Me: ok. Im out, yallah bye

Mom: Men sema7lech t6l3een?

Me: Ana?

Mom: La ebtg3deen

Me: haha sure

 

And I was out the door, before mom could say anything more. I was wearing black hot shorts, and a loose shirt that showed my shoulders that day. My face was covered with makeup… The thing is, people always told me I was pretty, I have hazel eyes, hazel hair to match, and delicate features. No one ever got why I put this much makeup on my face. But between me and you diary, I did it thinking that if I did, it would hide my flaws, my insecurities, my low self-esteem. people think Im strong, and dependent. But the thing is, it was just an act, on the inside I was screaming for love, and attention

 

Aziz : Hala bl7elwa hala

 

 

I got in the car, and flashed him a smile.

 

Me: hala feek

 

Aziz, was my boyfriend, we've been together for almost 6 months now. Let’s just say he wasn’t the most loyal guy in town, and he was bad news. But at that time he showered me with love and attention, something I didnt get too often. He wrapped his arms around my small waist and started kissing my neck

 

 Me: *giggles* 3azooz, en6er… tawna dshaina, mu jdam el bait… go to the place elli re7nala gabl, maku a7ad

 

 Aziz: sorry, bss ma gedart. I had to give u a few kisses

 

Me: 7adek 3ayar

 

Aziz: al7een ana el3ayar? Sheftay shnu labsa ou yayatly? Mnu yegdar yamsek 3umra chthy?

 

Farah: shut up and drive

 

And I gave him a peck on the cheek

 

Aziz: Mn 3youni

 

We reached our usual place. And Aziz placed his hands over my eyes

 

Aziz: Ne6ray, 3endy lech surprise

 

Me: What is it?

 

Aziz: Okay, al7een fet7ay 3younch

 

It was a red bottega bracelet, he put it on my hand. And kissed it. We stayed like this, staring at each other for a few minutes, then Aziz leaned in and started kissing my neck slowly. Each kiss was even more hungrier than the other. He placed his hands on my back sliding it all the way down till the edge of my back, and leaned me on the car seat... It was getting more steamier by the second. Until I called it off. I knew what I did was wrong. But at that time it seemed so right, so in place.
 

 

Me: Aziz, you know your limits. Stop.

 
Aziz: Honey, bss shway, khaleeny astanas

 
Me: La2, bss Aziz stop it!

 

He wouldn't stop, he kept on going.

 

Me: AZIZ!!! BSS!

 
Aziz: Enzain enzain! I wasnt gonna do anything anyways. Lay 6ee7 ne9ech bss

 
Me: Take me home now!

 
Aziz: Mu fatheelch, ba6la3 weya el rab3 al7een

 
Me: ga3d tsta3b6 9a7?

 
Aziz: La2? Dabray 3umrech

 

I stared at him, like I was lost and confused. Sometime's I thought he was serious about what he says to me, but he would say it was a joke just to rage3 elsalfa.

 

Aziz: age9 3laich yuba, al7een ag6ch

 
Me: for a split second I thought you were serious

 
Aziz: Lai hal daraja shayfatny 7aqeer?

 
Me: eeeeh

 
Aziz: aaa77, mashi ana a3almch

 

He started tickling me everywhere, I was begging him to stop.

 

Me: Aziz bss, bss!! Ba6ny, ayyy, wallah mn9ejy ga3d t3awerny

 

 
He stopped, and I was seriously hurt. He was surprised, makan ga3d ythgha6 3ala ba6ny. Bss it really did hurt, I turned pale for a second, and really uncomfortable.

 

 
Aziz: Farah is something wrong?

 
Me: La2, bss ba6ny gam ee3awerny, madre shfeeny, hal cham youm male khulg akel, ou Im loosing weight.

 
Aziz: ou laish ma ga3d takleen?


Me: I dont know, loss of appetite?

 
Aziz: Not an excuse, eb takleen qa9ben 3laich fahma


Me: Fine, now chenek you forgot something?
 

Aziz: Eeh ta3alay khan ag6ch el bait.