I spent the next few days
skipping school with my friends, smoking 3and el baqala, I honestly didnt give a 2 shits if anyone saw me. My mom knew I smoked, she couldn't
do anything about it, zafatny, ou 3aqebatny, but that
didn't work. Sometime's diary, I wonder if mom really does care, or if she only does this so no one would critisize the way she's raising us She reached home, and salemat 3ala her mom
Mom: I have a really big day today, barou7 atsaba7 ou atjahaz, atmana you
and your sister's dont do anything stupid please
Me: Wain ray7a?
Mom: Ba6la3
Me: eeh wain, shda3wa chthy 7ag 6al3a? 3laaainaa yumaaa
Mom: chub yallah 3ad mu sheghlech, Im going to the bathroom and freshen up,
wish me luck
Me: good luck on whatever your planning on doing
I knew mom had a boyfriend,
I would hear her mom talking to him on the phone. God the conversations they had were nasty. Apparently the
walls had ears, and even if I tried avoiding the phone calls between them, I couldnt, sound really travels in this house. I could
here everything and I knew everything. Mama left her phone on the table that day, so I took advantage of the fact that I'm all alone and snatached the phone and started snooping around. I saw convo's between her
and her boyfriend. It was literally disturbing. But one thing
caught my eye. Before I could read the rest of there conversation, mom came bursting in, and I quickly dropped the phone...
acting like nothing happened.
Mom: How do I look?
Me: Beautiful
Mom: Okay, Im going now, if you need anything just call me
Me: okay, take care
mom: thankyou 7beebti *gave her a kiss on the cheek*
I then remembered the message that I
saw in my mom's phone. It said
...: Elyoum blsheqa la tnsain, we have to celebrate!
I was surprised. They had a sheqa
too? Wtf. Enshallah umy mu chthy, I knew they were serious. But my grandparents
ma yerthoun my mama ttzawaj again, Ya terja3 ma3a
dad, which is wai3, ou law shnu mara7 terja3la or she stays single. So all the kept going around
in my head, at that time. Did she get married... in secret? It bothered
me, alot. I dont mind her getting married again but I didnt want her getting hurt, not to mention how should we know if the guy shes with is serious about her, and does love her. Or the fact that he only wants to play, my mom already got her heartbroken once, if I see her get hurt again, ra7 a6al3 raqma ou ra7 asafel feeh. I pushed the thought away, and went to take a
smoke, in the rooftop, it's my favorite place. Ma kent aby shay ee3aker mazajy, I would always go up there and think. No one to bother me, no
one had the keys except me. And it better stay that way. It was MY place, where all my
thoughts came to life. No one to judge me, no one to annoy
me, a place to look at the sky, and think, think about
everything, and nothing. A place where I felt safe and sound. I
kept inhaling deep on my cigarette. I inhaled it with anger,
hurt, depression all piled up inside me. I suddenly
felt a sharp pain in my stomach, again. It was getting
worse. I didn't know what it was, but it isnt a big deal is it diary? After all everyone gets
my mama would usually do
that, not come home for a few days. It was normal. Second day
passed by still no word. We were running low
on the food, just like everytime she left without telling us. She's so selfish, she left us all, knowing that if anything happened we had no one to go to.
Lachmy: Where is mama, there is no chicken for lunch?
Farah: Im calling her but her phone is off. How the hell do you expect me to know
Lachmy: tsk tsk tsk, mushkela kabeer
Mom came back on the 3rd day, all happy and perky. COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that she was gone for 3 days. I just stared at her, sighed and went to my room listening to music, reminiscing bout the old days,when my parents were together, it was one of the only pictures I had left, that actually showed all of us together, happy most of all, a family. That's all that I want diary, is it that much to ask?
No comments:
Post a Comment