Dear Diary,
It's been almost 3 weeks since the word spread that I had cancer, but still no word from my dad, I was waiting 3ala nar, hoping he'd at least call. But who was I kidding, at the end it was "Baba" musta7eel he gives a shit. That's too human of him.
Me: You guys, dad still hasn't asked about me.
Shahad: its dad, what do you expect from him, he will never put the effort.
Noura: ummm...
Me: What, ummmm?
Noura looked guilty, it was obvious she was hiding something. Shahad gave her kept staring at her, waiting for her to confess on her own.
Shahad: Well, were waiting if you haven't noticed.
Me: Noura, there's no point in hiding anything cause Im going to find out either way.
Shahad: Exactly! So just spill already
Noura: Okay, but you have got to promise me one thing, matgouloun 7ag mama I told you guys
Both Me & Shahad: Promise
Noura: ummm, u guys lat3a9boun la2any ma geltlkum, bss mom doesn't even know that I know, and I kind of estame3d
Shahad: tara ga3d tkhar3eena, khal9eena
Noura: Stfu shahad and just listen.
Shahad: e7tarmay nafsech 3ad, Im your big sister
Noura: big sister my ass
Me: Both of you can shut up, la2ana if you keep arguing mara7 nkhale9, ou were going to end up forgetting what we wanted to know in the first place, So Noura, if you may, please bss goulay el salfa, bdoun mat6awleenha
Shahad: ugh fine, JUST cause I wanna know el salfa
Noura: okay, so the other day, I came back home early from uni, and I sort of over heard mama talking to dad. Actually they weren't talking, they were practically yelling their heads off.
Shahad: what where they saying?! Ou haw ta3alay, mu chna mama matkalm baba, ou shelsalfa?
Noura shot Shahad a look, which meant, either she shut her mouth and listen or mara7 tkamel
Shahad: sorry sorry
Noura: okay, so what I heard, which is not exact btw is that, dad wanted to get in touch with us, and he wanted to talk to you. Once he found out that you had cancer he went crazy. Trying to find any way in talking to you, but mom kept pushing him away. I heard her tell him... "Im not going to let you into our lives now. 17 years, 17 years ma fakart terfa3 el sama3a 3ala bentk! I dont care if you regret it! Dont forget the day that you moved into the house, and I went and stayed in the Shallaih, tathker wela la2? And I told you the only way I'll let you back in our lives is actually acting like a father to your children, What did you do?! The next morning you packed your bags and went. Mashallah 3afya ubou, 3afya qedwa!"
She was right, I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was so clear. A sudden pain hit my chest, not physically, no. Emotionally. He left us diary, he left us without even saying goodbye, I never got why he treated us like that. Why he hated us, what did we ever do to him?
Shahad: WTH IS MOM'S PROBLEM!?! When dad actually wants to mend what was in the past, tyee ou she ruins it all! Is she kidding me?
Noura: I dont blame her! Shahad, ubouy elli swah mu shway, la tnsain!
Shahad: Okay bss everyone deserves a second chance! For once, I'd like to feel how it's like to have a father...
And a tear escaped her eye. I felt sorry for Shahad, she acted all tough and strong but she was really vulnrable. At the moment I wasnt mad because dad was trying to get back in our lives, I was mad because of mom, how could she hide such a thing?!
Me: Mom has no right whatsoever enha she does what she did, she cant decide for us. Im more mad with mom than I am with dad. How can she hide such a thing? Im sorry Noura but male sheghel I have to confront her, mu ebkaifha tqarer
Shahad: I agree with Farah... Noura think of it, jad. Wouldnt you want to know?
Noura: I would, bss I would hate the fact ena Im the snitch that couldnt keep her mouth shut
Shahad: No one is gonna know its you, dont worry
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